Monday, September 9, 2013

Until Death Do Us Part??? Yeah, Right!!!

So, let's just address the elephant in the room, shall we? I'm legally married. I married BTM 9/9/06. So today is our 7th wedding anniversary. YIPPEE!!!!!! Our entire relationship is the biggest farce that I have ever been a part of. We met in 2003 and I will admit, in the beginning we were really good together....as friends. It should have never progressed from there. And I'm not sure how it really did. I only know that it shouldn't have. He proposed to me the day my father died. I think he believed that I was going to be getting a huge inheritance. But the money I did get went to pay off a college loan.  I thought I was finding someone that would take care of me. Instead, I found someone that took complete advantage of me and I ended up taking care of him. I don't mean physically take care of him....I mean financially and in other ways. He didnt know how to cook or clean. So, me, the handicapped girl, did all the cooking and cleaning. He never held (and still hasn't)  a job for more than 2 years at a time. He either quits, gets laid off or fired. Then goes a few weeks without working. When I had a medical situation and was out of work in 2007, he took over the finances. BIG....HUGE mistake. I'm still not sure what he was using the money for, but it wasn't on bills because we lived with my mom while I was trying to get well. We had no bills other than our car. Slowly, the money in our account was being drained. The money that was given to me for hand controls on my car and my disability checks were gone. But, I don't know why. He never could explain it. 

All through our relationship I had problems with him being inappropriate with other women...including my friends. It was this that was eventually our undoing. I put up with a lot. But I will never put up with being disrespected or cheated on. When I found out that he was making arrangements to have sex with other women, that was it. He said he never did anything physical. I'm sorry, if you intentionally ask a woman to fuck you and you both send naked pictures to one another, THAT IS physical and it IS cheating....whether there was penetration or not. Y'all can disagree all you want. It's just how I feel. And I could not get him to stop. So, 4 years after we married, and 7 weeks after we moved to Tampa, I told him we were done. Ultimately, that was the best decision I have ever made. 

We're still legally married because I can't afford even a "simple, non-contested" divorce. It's pretty expensive in Florida. And he refuses to pay for it...not that he could afford it anyway, since he is constantly between jobs. I cannot wait until the day that we are divorced though. Hopefully, that will be soon. 

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