Perspective

Those that know me well would say that I am not shy at all. That I am very outgoing and talkative. I hear that all the time. For the most part, it's very true. However, when I come in contact with someone new, it takes me a while to warm up to them. I'll always smile at them and speak. But it's a very quiet whisper of a "Hello". 

This has been very true while my Granny has been at the rehab facility. Obviously, over the past several days I have come in contact with a LOT of new people. I should say, with all of the nurses and therapists, I have been completely vocal and outspoken in my praise or complaints with them. They will either love me or hate me (and my mother) by the time Granny leaves. But that's okay. They WILL remember us. I have gone every day to see my Granny since I have been here in NC and I have spent several hours with her each day. Today, I helped feed her and I really enjoyed my time with her. I think she's doing much better than she was and she's MUCH better at feeding herself than she was when she got there. She's been spending some time in a wheelchair because she is too weak to stand right now. So, I showed her today how to push herself up on the armrests so she can sit up better. I loved watching her later as she actually remembered what I had taught her and utilized it to the best of her abilities. 

Granny's "roommate". I don't like her. I don't know her. I will not try to get to know her and I will not try to like her. It's not one thing either. It's a multitude of things. I just do not like her. That's okay though. We aren't meant to like EVERYONE we come in contact with, right?

On the other end of the spectrum. The "little old man across the hall". OMG!!!! He's the cutest, most adorable old man I have seen since my own Papa. I'm seriously in love with this little guy!!! He's the sweetest man and I think he's sweet on Granny too. :) He comes over SEVERAL times to see her and to talk to us while we are there. He plays with Mom's little dog (dogs are allowed at the facility) and then he goes back to his room across the hall. A little while later, he comes back to see all of us again. His fashion sense is a bit off...but that just adds to his cuteness! I enjoy his brief visits when I'm there. 

Now, the whole reason I'm writing this entry is for another resident of the facility. It's another cute elderly man that I see every single day too. This man happens to be black. He is in a wheelchair and every single time go see Granny (and leave), he's sitting in his wheelchair outside in the shade. This man (I don't know his name---yet) always waves at us. Me being the person I am since I don't know him, I just look his way, smile and nod my head. He continues to wave that hand and smile a pretty smile. He seems so happy. He never speaks though. So, I'm thinking he's shy like me because he doesn't know us well. I've never seen anyone visit him yet. But I'm not there all day. So hopefully, he has lots of visitors. 

So, today, I am feeling really good about my visit with Granny. Her therapy is going well. I gave her tips that she uses with her wheelchair and I helped her eat. And she ate pretty good while we were there even if she didn't particularly like what they had for dinner (some kind of spaghetti/Beefaroni looking meal). So, as I said, I felt good about my visit with her. I didn't get to see the man across the hall on my way out because his door was closed. But I silently thought to myself, if that other guy is still outside, I'm gonna finally speak to him! He was there and as soon as he saw us he throws his hand up and starts waving and smiles one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen before. So, I look at him smile and wave back and I say to him, "You have a good night, Sir!" And I realized it at that moment. He cannot speak. This man that is so happy, so vibrant and full of life with the biggest and prettiest smile ever. He cannot talk. At all. He just makes clicking noises. I get to the parking lot and I just fucking LOSE IT! Why do we bitch and complain about life so much? There are many residents at the facility that are sour pusses because of their situations. But not this man. He cannot speak and he is STILL so happy. He speaks with his facial expressions. I truly hope he doesn't have family that thinks, "Well. He can't talk. So we don't need to visit him....what's the use?" Fuck that. Maybe he cannot talk. But he can still communicate. I know every day that he is telling us "hello" and "bye" and he is telling us to "have a good day/night" just as much as we are telling him to. He just says it in a different way.

It took me a good 10-15 minutes to stop crying. Even now, several hours later as I write this, I'm still emotional thinking of him. I just took it for granted all these previous days that he could speak. I still feel bad for him. I don't know what happened to him. But whatever blow life dealt him, he is certainly dealing with it well. I don't think I have seen anyone that seems so happy. And THAT's perspective. We'd expect him to have a shitty outlook on life. But no. He's as happy as a lark. 

I can't wait to go back to see Granny again tomorrow. I can't wait to see the cute old man with horrible fashion sense that has a crush on Granny. And I can't wait to "talk" to the little old man sitting outside in his wheelchair enjoying the last days of beautiful summer Yanceyville weather.

I think it's going to be a little harder going back to Tampa this Sunday. I have learned a lot about myself and about life during this trip. Folks, please don't take the elderly people in your life for granted. They still have so much to teach you even if they are in the winter of their life. You just have to be willing and patient enough to learn it. I think I have a lot to learn yet.