I'm Only In It For The Free Parking...

"I'm Only In It For The Free Parking" is my absolute favorite thing to say when someone asks, "Why are you in a wheelchair?" My 2nd favorite answer? "Nothing. They just don't work." I say that when someone asks, "What's wrong with your legs?" Let's be clear. I do not always give smart ass answers about my disability. 9 out of 10 times, I will give a straightforward answer. I only give the ridiculous answers to the dumb ass people that ask dumb ass questions about my disability. I shouldn't call these people dumb asses. I realize that when you don't know about something, you may be uncomfortable with it. Therefore, you just don't know how to correctly broach the subject. I do get that. But I get aggravated by the way some people ask me things....like they are afraid I don't know I'm in a wheelchair. Everyone is different. For me, a couple of good questions would be, "What caused your disability?" And depending on the age of the person asking, "Why are you in a wheelchair?" is a perfectly good question. Kids ask that a lot, along with "What's wrong with your legs?". And since (again, depending on the age) children may be too young to learn about Spina Bifida or paralysis, I will just simply tell them that "my legs were so broken when I was born that God just couldn't fix them. But it's okay. I'm fine with it." 

Kids are so adorably curious! They want to know about EVERYTHING!!!! They are so young and innocent and haven't yet been jaded by life's cruelty. I LOVE the wonderment in their eyes when they are asking about my disability. Wanna piss me off when your child asks me about my disability REAL quick? Tell them, "Shhhh....don't ask that! I flat out told a woman a while back that told her 6-7 year old daughter not to ask questions, Please don't tell your child that. She wants to learn. Don't be afraid of what she wants to ask or learn. Be afraid when she no longer does." Then I told her daughter all about my "broke" legs. The child was happy as a clam with my answers and the mother looked quite embarrassed. Good. She should be. People, don't tell your kids not to ask questions. I know I'm in a wheelchair. Your child asking isn't going to suddenly make me aware of it and cause me to freak out. Your child is being curious. Let them be. 

I do hate the stupid comments from adults though. They run the gamut from "Gee, you're lucky to always have a seat" to "Ya got a Hemi on that thing?!" UGH People think they are being so damn cute and original. But really, it's annoying and I've heard them all a million times....including the racing ones. Still, I just smile and say "YEP!" I've learned that it's easier to just answer them and just move on. I absolutely despise when someone wants to "pray" my disability away. If it were that easy, I wouldn't be in a wheelchair at all. Saying that to me will damn sure find you getting told off by me. There is nothing wrong with me or the fact that I have Spina Bifida. I am not being punished by God for my families wrongdoings, either, by the way. You'd be shocked what people will say to you!!

I do not regret my disability and if given the chance, I would not change it. I have met more people and experienced more in my life BECAUSE I have Spina Bifida than I ever could have if I was able-bodied. I love my life just the way it is. I have a compassion and empathy for others that I'm sure I wouldn't otherwise have. I am open minded and I believe in equality for everyone. I don't think someone's quality of life is lessened in any way by being disabled, gay, black or Muslim. We are all one. We're one. But we're not the same.