11/14/2010

No. The title isn't a mistake....This is a reflection on my 3 year anniversary of being separated from my husband. To be honest, I don't know where this entry is going to take me. I just noticed the date and started writing. 

I'm not saddened by the end of my marriage (and we are, for now, still legally married)....anymore. I just feel as though I should pay respect to a significant event in my life. I have definitely moved on with my life. And I hope he has too. But in the few days, weeks and months after the separation I was a HOT DAMN MESS!! I had questioned my decision. And it was my decision. I felt as though it was my only choice. Certain things had been done by him and over time I felt as though I was falling out of love...if I was ever truly in love at all. 

So, yes. We are still legally married...for now...but that's just semantics. We have not been in each other's lives for 3 years now. As I said, I have moved on. Honestly, my life has been quite amazing in the past 3 years and I have someone that is finally 110% devoted to ME. 

I didn't have any certain purpose in this entry....just to get out these thoughts. But if YOU or anyone YOU know are going through a separation/divorce just know that there IS life after divorce. It will get better. I know it may not seem like it now. But it will. There is a saying that time heals everything. But I disagree. Time doesn't do anything. It's what YOU do with the time given that heals you. What I mean is, if you are going through a rough patch...divorce, financial downfalls, loss of a loved one, etc and you are just sitting on your couch eating bon bons and watching soap operas, nothing will ever change. You're still going to feel like shit at the end of the day. BUT if you pick your ass up off the bed or couch, put one foot in front of the other and DO SOMETHING (even if you go out alone, DO SOMETHING), in time your heart will heal. It won't happen over night. But you will get better eventually if you keep moving! I think THAT is my message today.