Roseanne, Freedom of Speech, & Its Consequences

Everyone is giving their opinions on Roseanne. Many are stating that her freedom of speech was violated. It wasn't. She freely exercised her freedom of speech. What the First Amendment doesn't guarantee is the freedom from the consequences of what you speak or write. That being said, I'm about to exercise my First Amendment right. I'm not free from consequences either. So, if you're so hurt or offended by anything I say, go ahead and unfollow, unfriend, or block me. If my opinion threatens you so much that you can't bear to still be friends with me either in real life or on social media, do your duty. But, you all speak yours every day and I rarely say a thing. It's my turn now; since I was asked. 
Roseanne had it coming. She made racist statements on a public forum. If ANY of you do that, and your boss sees it, you'll be fired too. I suspect she may have actually violated the fine print in her contract. 
There are those calling for other shows to be cancelled and stating this is hypocrisy at its finest because this show was cancelled and not others. So, let's talk hypocrisy. Why can Trump make all kinds of inflammatory remarks and NEVER have anything done to him? What about that hypocrisy? I don't watch shows like The View or whatever Bill Maher is on. So, I don't know those specifics. I obviously can't express an opinion on them. But why are you so worked up over other shows and not that Roseanne made RACIST STATEMENTS ON TWITTER?  Sure, it happens all the time. That doesn't mean it's right or okay. Ask yourselves what is most important here. 
BUT SHE APOLOGIZED, DAWN! 
Well, if I call you a cunt and then say I'm sorry after receiving backlash, does that make it okay? We still gone be good? Likely not. I don't believe her apology was heartfelt. She received backlash and knew the show was being pulled. THEN she apologized. 
WHAT ABOUT THE AMBIEN? 
Listen, Ambien makes you do some CRAZY shit...ask several of my friends. But what it's not gonna do is make you racist or say racist things. 
I FEEL BAD FOR THE CAST/CREW
Maybe I'm the cunt because I don't care. It's Hollywood. One day you have a job. The next you don't. They'll be fine and get work elsewhere. But I don't feel bad because they knew who they were dealing with. They should have expected an explosion of some kind. She has been in the limelight since the mid 80s and she's been a vile, disgusting woman ever since. This is nothing new. You don't just change that behavior. 
In summation, I don't give 2 shits about Roseanne or her show. I didn't like her or the show in the 80s and I don't like the 2.0 version. No, I dont stand by her or with her. To do so is to condone her actions and I'll never do that. Yes, I hear there may be a spinoff of the show with the other cast members but excluding Roseanne. Nope. Probably won't watch that either. 

Come at me.

I'm Sexual, But Not Asexual

Last year, I wrote a blog for an online organization that focuses on empowering people with disabilities to lead happy, healthy sexual lives. For whatever reason, they didn't use my entry even though they still paid me. I want people to still be able to see it so that it can possibly help someone. Here it is in its entirety, though I updated my current age😊: 

I was born with Spina Bifida. As a result, I am paralyzed from my knees down and I use a wheelchair full time. Growing up, and even now, in my early 40s, I have come to realize that many in society deem the disability community as asexual, or unable to have sexual relationships or any form of intimacy. Because of this, there are also many within the disability community that feel this way about themselves… or they are ashamed to be seen as sexual or sexy.

I can still remember the first time I had “the talk” with mom. It was actually a forced situation. I was about 9 years old and we were at one of my Spina Bifida clinics that I attended every 6 months. It was right around the time that I was learning to catheterize, and one of the nurses asked mom if she had talked to me about sex, menstrual cycles and all of the related topics. In the nurse’s eyes, it was the perfect time since I was learning about my ‘nether region’ to get this catheterizing thing down pat. Mom, however, was taken aback. The nurse said, “You do realize that your daughter can have sex, don’t you?!” Mom wasn’t actually disputing that. Her only reply was that I was too young for either of us to think about that. Like I said, I was about 9 at the time and this was in the early 1980s. I was the youngest child of 3 – the only girl - and mom was divorced, taking care of all of us. To say she was protective of me is an understatement. Still, we went home and had “the talk” later that day. It was brutal, as you can imagine. Remember YOUR first sex talk?

As a kid, I never actually thought about it. I just knew that I would grow up and have lots of boyfriends, eventually get married, and someday have kids. Just like all of my friends thought of themselves. It wasn’t until junior high that I began to realize that may not happen. I had PLENTY of friends… male and female. But no one was asking me out on dates. My only conclusion was that it was because of my disability. Even back then, people would ask me if I could have kids “the natural way” and when I said yes, they were shocked. I was becoming aware that people didn’t see me that way. Today, I’m 42 and I still get those questions and the shocked looks when I reply that I can.

I was 18 before I got my first boyfriend. We met my senior year of high school. And no, he does not have any disabilities. That seems to be a common misconception too…that we only date within our community. He was the person I lost my virginity to and we are married today. I was so incredibly shy about dating and guys when he finally came around. It took meeting him and falling in love with him for me to grasp that I can be a sexual person and not “asexual”. That I can be sexy---if only in his eyes. He broke me out of the shell that society had put me into so many years ago.

Admittedly, it’s a shell that I work hard to stay out of. When I fall back into the trappings that society seems comfortable putting me in, he’s right there by my side reminding me that I am my own person and I can do whatever I want with my body, even if it makes others uncomfortable.

Valentine's Day

I don't want you guys to get hung up on this day, whether or not you are in a romantic relationship. Love is love. You don't have to have a significant other in order to enjoy today. I know you're sitting there reading this thinking, "sure. That's easy for you to say. You're married!" But, I haven't always been! To me, Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love, period. Love for our family, friends, and anyone else special to us. If you don't have a significant other in your life, you still have plenty of love to give others in your life, I bet! Concentrate on that. Enjoy the love of your friends, your parents, your siblings, your children, aunts, uncles, etc. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, hospital, nursing home, or animal shelter and give them your love. And don't just do it today. Do it every day or as often as you can. Today, for me is just a reminder to not take those we love for granted. And, since it's the beginning of Lent, it's a great time to incorporate that into our lives on a regular basis. Tristen is working today and won't be home until nearly 10pm tonight. So our "Valentine's Day" will be Friday. We pretty much show our love for one another every day. So we don't need a specific day for it. If you are still feeling down in the dumps today(or any day, for that matter), please let me know. I'll do whatever I can do to try to talk you through it. Love yourself.

Just Thinking Out Loud

Seven years ago today, I put a deposit down on an apartment in Tampa Florida. I was staying with my cousin for 3 days just to find something. I was on a mission it seemed. It's often creepy to me just how badly I felt like I HAD to be here. Now I know that it was to find my future husband...the man I am married to today. It's also eerie to me that had it not been for my cousin letting me stay with him in 2002 for a couple of weeks, I wouldn't be here at all. That vacation led up to me wanting to find a place here 7 years ago. And led to me living here happily for the past 7 years with the man I love. I don't know what the future holds for us, as far as if we will live in Tampa forever or move to another city. But today's "anniversary" just spoke to me in a way that I needed to ramble on about it. I don't write often anymore. I'm too busy with my business. I miss writing ... and reading, for that matter. So, if you are reading this, I appreciate your loyalty.

Some Things Are Just Meant To Be

January 3rd, 1994 is the first day I ever remember laying eyes on the man that would eventually become my husband. We were in the 2nd semester of my senior year of high school. His junior year. It was the very first day of the semester....4th period....Advanced Biology class. I say that it was the first day I remember, because he says we actually met in passing briefly during the 1st semester. I have no recollection of that happening. So maybe God was thinking, " I have placed your soulmate in your presence, and you didn't even notice. Let Me try again." 

I was sitting in the front row of class when he walked in. I noticed him instantly. I don't know why. I think was just watching to see who would be in the class and to see if I knew anyone walking in. I noticed his style more than anything. Today, it would probably be called "metro-sexual". Then, it was "preppy". A white button up shirt that was tucked into a pair of nicely fitting jeans and a pair of Sebago shoes. The shirt was such a pale white and so thin, you could actually see through it. I wondered, briefly, if he was actually gay. He was just too cute. I brushed the thought out of my mind as the next student walked in. I don't remember who it was. 

Roll Call. I learned his name. Why was I ACTUALLY paying attention to find out HIS name? Geesh, Dawn. Get a hold of yourself!!! After roll call, the teacher started by putting us in groups of 4. This would be our group for the remainder of the year and we'd work with this group for all of our projects and labs. My best friend since 4th grade was in my group. Another friend since 8th grade was in my group. One more is needed. The teacher called HIS name! Wait, what?! I get to work with him, closely the rest of the year and actually get to know him??? WOW!!! 

Fast forward to the end of the year....about 6 months later. I REALLY like him....so much so that I start to panic about graduating and not seeing him every day again. Forever. I don't know what to do about that. I'm too shy to actually DO anything(I was back then, anyway....I thought). I had worked in the counseling office at the receptionist desk in years past. After graduation, they actually called me to see if I could help during the summer after I graduated because they were short of the help. YES....YESS! OF COURSE I WILL HELP!!! I mean, sure....yeah....that's cool. 

Since he was an upcoming senior, he was among the first students to come into the counseling office to make changes to his schedule. We chatted for a bit. He spoke to a counselor and left. Dammit, Dawn! You had one job and you blew it!!! Ah....but I didn't! Turns out, he had to make a 2nd appointment and come back! I was ready the 2nd time around. I checked his file to make sure I was giving him the correct one. I may or may not have noticed his phone number on the file. As I was handing him the file, I handed him a letter that I had written the day before. I really don't remember what it said. But I know I poured my heart out. I ended up calling him later that day. 

We started dating that summer of 1994 and dated for 5 years until Fate separated us again in 1999. I thought that was it, I always knew that he was the love of my life. I think I fell in love with him the day he walked into our class and I can't explain that. Some things aren't easily explained. Certainly not what happened next. I moved to Florida in 2010 with the man that I went on to marry in 2006, It didnt work out and we separated just 7 weeks later. A few months after that, I literally ran into my soulmate again. The man from my science class in 1994. 

We've been together ever since and are now married. Some things really are meant to be. 

The Death of the 2016 (Celebrity)

This has been a long time coming. Everyone and I do mean EVERYONE has been up in arms over the celebrity deaths this year. Depending on the news source you use, there have been at least 200 celebrity deaths this year. Everyone thinks that's more than any other year in the past. And maybe it is, I don't know. Every news source reports a different number of deaths because what makes a person a celebrity and whose deaths are considered notable are purely opinions. Those that are notable to me, may not matter to you. So, it's difficult to quantify an exact number. 

The Curse of 2016

There is no curse. Let's face it, life and death is a crap-shoot. Sometimes, your number gets drawn... and if you're lucky, sometimes it doesn't. The life of a celebrity is a hard one and it takes a toll on the body, mind, and spirit. It's life in the fast lane...literally. Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll, baby!!! Even if the celebrity has been clean and sober for years, the toll taken on the body is permanent from the lifestyle. And even celebrities who did not dabble with - or become addicted to - drugs or alcohol are likely to have experienced some strain and stress from their fame.

 Many of the deaths in 2016 came from celebrities that are among the "Baby Boomer" generation. These are the births between 1946 and 1964. That is a WIDE RANGE---52 years of age and 70 years of age and many celebrities that died this year fit within that range. This is when health begins to decline naturally, as one transitions into a senior citizen. 

The Decline of The Life Expectancy

A study was released by the CDC stating that the US Life Expectancy has decreased for the first time since 1993, when the death rate was higher due to AIDS, the flu, homicide and accidental deaths. Nobody knows why. There are a few thoughts as to the cause such as obesity, opioid abuse and suicide. So, If you are in your 40’s or 50’s, you will probably not live as long as your parents or grandparents did. Bummer. The overall death rate for Americans increased because mortality from heart disease and stroke increased after declining for years. Deaths were also up from Alzheimer's disease, respiratory disease, kidney disease and diabetes. More Americans also died from unintentional injuries and suicide. In all, the decline was driven by increases in deaths from eight of the top 10 leading causes of death in the U.S. It is inevitable that celebrities will fall into this. 

2017 And Beyond

When you factor in all of the above variables, it's inescapable to realize that celebrity deaths are on the rise...and will continue to rise. Not because there is a curse on any particular year. But because death is an unavoidable truth for our beloved celebrities...and for us. 6,316 people die each hour. That's 151,600 each day and 55.3 MILLION each year. It stands to reason that a good portion of these are celebrities. And there are probably dozens more that we don't even know about because their families kept it private. 

And, folks....I don't want to think about it either....But Betty White WILL eventually die. On January 17th, she will be 95. She has led an impressive life in that time and she IS America's Sweetheart. I'm going to be devastated when she goes too! But no GoFundMe page or anything else will keep it from happening if and when it's meant to be.

My Friend is Grieving a Celeb Death - What Do I Do?

Nothing. Let them grieve. It's true, they didn't PERSONALLY know that celebrity. But for your friend, that celebrity signifies or symbolizes something. Maybe it's a particular song or movie the celebrity is known for that got your friend through a break-up, death, or other hard time. Or maybe that celebrity was just very well-known and popular during your friend's childhood or early adulthood. Leave your friend alone and let him or her grieve. Don't be a dick by stating, "Why?! You didn't even know them!" Or "So-and-so died. It's time to get on the bandwagon and act like everyone is their biggest fan!". Don't be a dick, man....just don't. Let people grieve the loss that is real to them. And hopefully, they will do the same for you when you find yourself inconsolable when YOUR favorite celebrity dies.

Late Night Ramblings

Anyway, I'm tired. I'm always tired. Ever since my medical ordeal last year(2 miscarriages, major surgery, and a massive blood clot that can't be removed, no longer being able to have kids), I am in a perpetual state of tiredness. Yet, I'm perfectly healthy. You know....other than being born with spina bifida, now having 1 ovary and Fallopian tube as a result of the aforementioned surgery, and a left leg full of blood clots. I just can't get enough sleep or rest. My mind is constantly racing and I can't shut it off. That's a new symptom from the past month or 2. Which is exactly how long my husband started his new work schedule. I love my husband more than life itself. But, I hate his schedule. I'm alone all day now. Pretty much from 1:30pm until 1:30am, I am alone with nothing but my thoughts and 2 pets. I miss one-on-one conversation and dinners with my husband. Hopefully in 6 weeks he can go back to first shift. But, I'm terrified that he won't be able to. The past 6 weeks since he started this shift, have dragged by(or is it drugged? That's the one that has always confused me.).

The weather sucks. Whomever gave Florida the nickname of "The Sunshine State" can suck it. The summer months it rains ever day. There is no sunshine. My first summer here in Tampa, it rained for nearly 2 months straight. The gloom affects my mood. I feel like Eeyore. I can rarely spend time outside because the weather is bad now. I am afraid that I am slipping into depression. Yet....I'm happy. I really am. I have no reason to be unhappy. I have everything that I have ever wanted in my life except my family is far away. I miss them terribly.

I AM depressed by the things I read online and the things I see on the news. What happened to our country? People have become so self absorbed and no one cares about anyone else or what they may be going through now. It's so sad.

I told Tristen that I wanted to quit Scentsy. My passion is not there anymore and neither are my sales. And frankly I don't know how to get them back. I have struggled 2 months in a row to meet goals. Last month I didn't reach them. This month is looking unlikely too. Tristen told me no. He said, "You knew going into this that there would be slow or bad times. I don't think that you should quit during the slow months. If it continues into the better months, then we will figure it out. But you shouldn't give up now when it's likely to get better." He's right. Besides, when I buy something, it's because it's something we need or want. So I may as well get it from myself than from one of you. LOL

There are times when I come across as totally bitchy. I know that. But I don't mean for it to happen. When we are online, it's very difficult to understand the intent behind someone's words. So, we often read them a certain way and conjure up our own explanation of what the writer intended...often being wrong. I have been on both sides of that spectrum.

Okay.....I think that's everything. I am not quitting. I just wanted to share my thoughts and what is going on in my brain. I'm gonna be fine because I have to be. I don't give myself any other other choice. It's why I am sharing this. In case anyone else is going through rough times. You're not alone. You'll get through it too.